It’s okay to not be okay

As I’m a bit under the weather at the moment, now seemed an appropriate time to write about a phrase I think is important – that it’s okay to not be okay.

Sometimes we are just not okay. Maybe we are going through something, maybe we are unwell, or maybe we are feeling low. It might be something major or it might just be a weird mood. Whether the reason is small or huge, seemingly nothing or feels like everything, it is all relative, and if you feel bad, you feel bad. You don’t need justification or validation. There might be no reason in the world for how you feel other than you’ve found yourself in a bad mood that day or just feel down.

As while, of course, ideally we should try to cheer ourselves up if we can, get through what we are struggling with, and seek help, sometimes we just need to accept that is how we feel. Accepting it is the first step to feeling better, too. We need to accept when we are not feeling well enough to work, and not push ourselves and make it worse. We need to accept if we are just feeling low and be kind to ourselves, don’t over think the reasons, instead wonder what may cheer us, rather than beat ourselves up. We need to accept when we are going through something that is perhaps difficult and emotional, and that it may take time to work through. And it is okay to be feeling like all of these examples.

You are not going to be okay all of the time. You don’t have to be okay all of the time. You cannot always be in control. It can be really frustrating, feeling bad when we want to get on with things. But we can’t rush it, and accepting our feelings can only help this process. We certainly can’t always control our feelings, we cannot help what we feel, and we should never feel bad for simply feeling. We are only human, after all.

It is okay to admit that you are not okay. To both yourself and to others. When we do tell someone that we are not okay, we will hopefully feel their support. Seek help if you can. We will all struggle with things. We cannot be happy, positive, and feeling well all of the time. We cannot always easily cheer ourselves up, find a solution, or simply get over something. It can take time. We need the dark moments to help us really appreciate the light.

We must try to not let anyone else make us feel bad, either. If you’re not feeling good, in whatever way or sense of the words, then you are not feeling good. That’s it, you said it. It’s a fact. You don’t need some huge ‘reason’ or to validate your feelings to others. They are your feelings, and they are always legitimate and important. If anyone makes you feel bad in anyway, they’re just not being very kind or understanding. If they make you feel like you need to justify or explain how you’re feeling, or even suggest you ‘should’ feel better by now, do not listen to them. You never have to explain yourself and there are no time frames to these things. They are deeply personal and unique to the individual. We should all be more compassionate towards others, as you never know what someone may be going through, and as friends, we should always be there to listen and understand.

So, while it is not ‘okay’ to be feeling bad in the sense that it would be much, much nicer if we could be feeling better, unfortunately this is not what life is always like; we are not always okay. If we can accept that, and accept when we aren’t feeling good, then I think we will start to find it easier to feel better again. Acceptance is the first step. So be kind to yourself, let yourself off, accept that you feel bad, but also know that you will feel better. This is just the dark moment, and soon you will be in the light, where you will appreciate its brightness so much more.

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