If you don’t ask, you don’t get

My mum has always said to me “If you don’t ask, you don’t get” which I think are definitely words to live by.

If you want something, you have to go out and get it. No one is going to hand you it or do it for you. It’s unlikely to happen naturally or on its own, and even if it might – why wait around? You could be putting yourself out there and working to make it happen sooner. It’s up to us to make things happen for us, no one else. The world doesn’t owe you anything, it’s what you do with what you’ve got, what you make of your life, and what you give back to the Earth and to others.

So sometimes we just have to go up and ask if you can find out more or get involved, send that email or ask for that favour. If you really want to and know it will help, just go and do it! I know it can be scary, but when we just make ourselves do things that are a bit daunting or outside our comfort zone, we can really develop our confidence and discover what we are capable of. We can find that we are brave and determined; we seek and can take opportunities and challenges.

If you don’t ask, you’ll never know what could have happened. What’s the worst that could happen? The person or organisation you ask will say no? Well, that’s their loss. You tried and put yourself out there, and that’s an important achievement in itself.

It doesn’t have to be so literal. It can be enquiring about something, or taking that exciting, but perhaps slightly daunting opportunity, or even just making yourself do that speech or presentation despite it being scary, because you know it will probably improve your confidence.

Personally, making myself do the things that I am nervous about, but want to do or know will be beneficial to do, really boosts my confidence in an invaluable way. When you’re not especially confident, like me, it’s being brave and pushing yourself that can help you find even a little more confidence and self-belief. Confidence comes with experience, after all. When you do something you were a bit scared of, it’s a fantastic feeling afterward knowing that you went for it and that it went well. And even if it didn’t go well or you feel unsure, you should be proud of yourself for having been brave and gone for it anyway.

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get” is about not taking the easy road. It’s pushing yourself and striving for more. It’s using our free time to pursue our passions and hobbies. It’s going for things and seeing what happens even if you’re unsure. If what you have to do is scary and hard, you will come out of it stronger, and your confidence will be built upon. If it is a bad experience, you can learn from it and overcome it. Because you did it, you went for it, and that’s amazing! That is also the most important thing. So go out there and ask someone what you’ve been wondering about, if you can get involved, apply for things, start a new project, do what you’ve always wanted to, try something new – take that opportunity! However big or small, just try it, and see what happens.


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